$pent Millennial

When I was a child, my dad would take us shopping. Sometimes when we went shopping, we bought things. Other times, we didn’t. I remember there were times when before we went into a store my dad would tell my siblings and I that we were “window shopping”. This meant that we were going to go into the store, look around, price items and… window shop. On these trips we were not buying anything. The expectation was set and understood. 

Looking back, I appreciate these trips even more than the shopping trips when we bought things. Afterall, I don’t know if I remember any specific thing I ever got when we went to the store and actually did buy things, but I do vividly remember multiple, regular occasions when my dad would set the expectation before entering the store, “Today we are window shopping. This isn’t a buying trip”. 

As a child, we weren’t window shopping because we were “poor” or “broke” or because we couldn’t afford to buy things. It was just what we were doing that particular day. Some shopping trips were for buying, others were for looking, getting ideas and pricing. Since it was regularly expected and reinforced, I just assumed this was the way of the world and of stores. They exist. Sometimes you go in. Sometimes you buy things. Sometimes you don’t. 

It wasn’t until I was older that I realized not everyone experienced this type of shopping. I have even been with people out shopping who say that they “have to buy something, or it is rude”. Well, call me “rude”. I now consider it a gift to be able to shop without buying, and find window shopping, getting ideas and pricing items one of the many underappreciated and seemingly forgotten practices of delayed gratification. 

I have been thinking of the idea of delayed gratification and window shopping a lot lately. In a time filled with constant opportunities for instant gratification of “order now”, “download”, “buy now, pay later”, “your package has been shipped”, I find myself wondering if such a lack of delayed gratification and excitement buildup is contributing to making people feel less happy and fulfilled by life. 

This weekend, my partner, Jesse, and I went to an Open House for a house in our neighborhood. We went to the Open House knowing that we were “window shopping”. We are not in a financial position to buy a house at this time, and if we were it certainly wouldn’t be a half-million dollar house! But, we recently started talking about plans for eventually buying a house, so it seemed like a fun Saturday afternoon date. Besides, I run past the house regularly, and I’m nosy. I wanted to know what this Half-Million Dollar House on the top of the hill looked like inside. 

So this weekend we went to the Open House. We walked around and saw the house. It was two bedrooms, split level in a way that had the garage lead directly into the basement. Two bedrooms, one bath, unless you count a toilet in the basement garage and a ½ bath, I don’t. We left flabbergasted that they wanted half a million dollars for it. We added it to our list as one more reason we will NOT be looking to buy in Madison or the immediately surrounding areas when we do seriously consider buying… We returned home with a renewed appreciation for our small, rented apartment in the neighborhood with the nice nature path and walkable downtown. 

This one was easy. It wasn’t our style, wasn’t our location – too many people, not enough land/ yard space – and wasn’t in our budget. I imagine it would be harder if we walked into a home we are not (yet) in the position to buy, it was our dream home, and we couldn’t have it. I suppose, as we continue to plan for the possibility of future homeownership and go to open houses, it is likely that we might run into such circumstances. I imagine in those cases, I will need to dig deep and remember the lesson my dad instilled all those decades ago about delayed gratification and how sometimes we are “just window shopping”.