$pent Millennial

I interrupt your holiday content and Christmas cheer to bring you this very Grinchy Grinch, Grinch blog post from one very, very spent millennial. 

This wasn’t what I planned on posting this week. I had planned some cute post about holiday shopping or a list of holiday latte recipes for the week leading up to Christmas. But, if I’m honest, I’m just not in the mood. 

I have been having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year. Maybe it is the mild temps and lack of snow, or maybe it is because the Hallmark movies (with the exception of a few really decent ones) have been exceptionally uninspiring this year. Maybe it is because instead of the usual holiday & year-end slow down, work just keeps picking up and piling on even as the 25th draws nearer and nearer or because although, rumor has it that a lot of us out here are really struggling- student loan payments coming back, high interest rates, prices that seem like they might never drop, ect., commercialism is still… commercialing telling us how a festive latte or new car is what will make the holidays really holiday for us and our loved ones this year. 

Whatever ther cause, I just can’t seem to shake my case of the BAH HUMBUGs. 

Social media doesn’t help. Lately, scrolling through social feeds of everyone looking so happy, successful, in love and engaged has been pulling at my frayed nerves like a piece of yarn unravelling a knit sweater. The thing is, these posts don’t usually get to me. I take them for the filtered, curated highlight reel that they are. And, I acknowledge, I am part of the very feed that has me rolling my eyes and tossing my phone aside to wallow in self-pity. Although I try to share real moments of the boring, unglamorousness that is living as a spent millenial, I know that my own posts often play back like the curated reel of privilege and luck that they are.  

What has been getting to me lately is that this time of year, it isn’t just on social media. It’s at the holiday table, in the group chats, and holiday cards. Celebrations, congratulations, joy, joy, joy, joy! And, I am happy for them. Really, I am. But the constant celebrating, cheer and merry-making of everyone moving forward, achieving greatness in love, careers,etc. can act as an amplifier to the overwhelming feeling of stuckness that I have found myself sinking into lately. 

This is where I could dig deep and explain to you exactly what this feeling of stuckness is. I would detail the nihilistic feeling that nothing I have been working on for the past year, or two, or three…or who knows how long, has any meaning or purpose anyways. I’d explain the creeping thoughts that my time and talents would be better used elsewhere, but that maybe I am too tired, burnt out, overwhelmed or underwhelmed to even explore such possibilities. Keeping it brief, the best I can describe it is that I feel like a walking podcast plug for BetterHelp or the pre-miracle part of a Hallmark movie. If you know, you know.  

Now, please don’t take this post as a poor me, woe is me, self-indulgent plea for accolades or affirmations. That’s not what it is. Nor is it a cry for help or attention. I don’t need pity, morale boosting, or anything else. I write this post merely to express my own unjolliness this season and to hold space for anyone else who might be in a similar position. 

That said, there is still just over a week until the big day. Maybe I will find just the right holiday film to spark the holiday cheer within, or the weather will shift and with it my attitude. Maybe I’ll have myself a holly jolly Christmas yet this year. Or, maybe I won’t. Maybe I will just get through this holiday season, one day and one celebration at a time. Either way, it will be okay. And, if anyone out there is reading this and feeling similar feelings of disappointment, glumness or apathy, you are not alone. You don’t have to have the biggest smile, best holiday playlist or deck out in the most festive gear this year. It’s okay to phone this one in. There is always next year… 

Wishing everyone a happy (or mediocre) holiday!