$pent Millennial

A few weeks ago, I was listening to a new episode of Ramit Sethi’s Money for Couples podcast—formerly the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast. I really enjoy Ramit’s books, podcasts, and other content, and I credit a lot of my financial progress and mindfulness to his focus on money psychology and sustainable systems. That being said, his guests are often in very different financial situations than I am. I say “often” because Ramit prides himself on featuring diverse couples, and they are diverse—in many ways. Some even make less than $200,000 a year, but the majority don’t.

Honestly, sometimes it can be tough to listen to. Not only because I don’t necessarily relate to their situation, but because it gets challenging to hear complaints about how they just can’t stretch their $300,000-a-year income to cover all their costs. I almost fell into a familiar hole of bitterness while listening to this particular episode. The couple, who made around $200,000 annually, shared that they’d received a $100,000 gift for a downpayment on their home. Yet, despite this windfall, they were still struggling with debt.

As I muttered “must be nice…” under my breath, I felt the bitterness rise like acid reflux. But then I paused. Pouring my homemade coffee in my cozy apartment, surrounded by my little family of my boyfriend and our dog, I felt something that many might not expect—gratitude.

As this couple talked about taking on project after project for their home until they were buried in debt, I glanced at our hand-drawn downpayment tracker, which my boyfriend, Jesse, and I color in each month. I thought about our weekly money dates and the conversations we have about our shared goals. I reflected on how far we’ve come over the past few years, and the excitement we feel when we look at each other and say, “We’re doing great.” Ramit’s guests continued discussing their expenses, debt, and interest payments, and I couldn’t help but think—maybe we’re the lucky ones.

My parents didn’t give me $100,000 for a downpayment. In fact, as one of five children, I knew that kind of support wasn’t in the cards for me. But I’ve come to accept that. I’ve even built a small bit of pride around it. I used to tell myself, think how good it will feel when we buy our house with money we earned and saved all on our own! But it wasn’t until this moment that I realized I actually believe it.

This feeling of pride made me think of what my parents did give me: important money lessons that have helped me build the foundation I stand on today. Here are three key money messages they shared with me growing up.

1. Your value and worth are not based on how much money you have- or where you live. 

Children, like all humans, compare and contrast things to make sense of the world around them. As I young child, I remember riding the school bus and seeing children who lived in apartments. At that point, my family lived in a house that we owned. I remember thinking that it was different that some children and families lived in apartments. I wondered why they wouldn’t have a big yard like us or a home of their own. 

My dad made sure to share stories of how when my brother and I were very young, our family lived in an apartment before we got the house. He shared stories of early experiences of housing insecurity, tight times with strict budgets. One of my favorite stories was about how he pushed a rocking chair from Goodwill on top of the stroller while we rode home in it. For a long while that stroller and public transit were our only form of transportation.  I still credit my love for Goodwill and thrifting to this story. 

He also taught us gratitude through these stories. Whenver we would be riding in a car (once we got it) to pick up groceries, he would say things like “I’m so grateful to be riding in this car with all these groceries instead of having to carry them on foot.”  Or when the weather was really bad out, he would make comments about being grateful for a roof over our heads and suggest prayers for those without, praying they would find shelter. 

He always made sure we understood where we came from, and that what we had, including our house and mortgage, didn’t make us any better than those who were in different places. This gift of humility, gratitude and empathy are a legacy that cannot be bought. 

2. Budgeting can be fun. 

If I ever figure out merch, I want to have a comfy sweatshirt that proudly boasts, “I’m on a budget”. I LOVE my budget. When I first started using the envelope method to reign in my spending, I loved it. It brought back feelings of fun, challenges and feel-good nostalgia from when I was a kid. 

When I was a kid my dad would take us grocery shopping. He would tell us we only had so much money and that we had to get our necessities in the first trip. Then, once we got everything we needed, if we had any money left we could go back in for some snacks and fun items. After that trip, if there was still any money left we could get some real treats- llike donuts. 

I loved it. It was fun and exciting, and it instilled in me an understanding of priority while building excitement and appreciation for treats. This has been such a gift as I have taken on my own budgeting habits. From this example, I have been able to gamify my own budgeting, saving and spending- including our house savings tracker! 

3. Interest, Interestt, Interest 

One final lesson I remember from being a kid was how my dad taught us that borrowing moneyis expensive. If you want to buy something in the moment, but you don’t have the money to pay for it, you have to borrow it- and doing so will mean you will have to pay back more than you originally borrowed. 

My dad would explain to us real world examples, like car loans and credit cards, but since cars, houses adn credit cards were a bit far off for us at the time, he would illustrate the lesson at the vending machine. Sometimes when we were at the library or pool, my dad wouldn’t have cash for snacks. But thanks to neighborhood jobs, chores, etc. we would. Being a natural saver, I tended to always have the cash. 

I would “lend” my dad the cash to buy us all snacks, and he would pay me back- with interest. Not only was it a great lesson on borrowing money, but it was a great deal for me because my dad paid back 100% interest. So, I could easily make $5 from a few singles and some quarters. 

Now, unfortunately this lesson didn’t hit home enough for me to go into Finance or Banking as a career, but it did give me foundational understanding of what it meant to borrow money and the importance of only spending money that I have. 

These lessons taught me that we can pass along generational wealth without handing over a dime. Through their examples, my parents gave me a sense of financial resilience, mindfulness, and confidence. I don’t need to compare myself to someone who received a $100,000 gift; instead, I’m building my own future, one meaningful step at a time. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.