$pent Millennial

Dear Reader,

Honor your needs.

This past week, I’ve been thinking about how we try to fill the gaps in our lives with habits or routines that serve as coping mechanisms to get us through the day, week, hour or even minute. 

In my experience, these coping strategies might temporarily ease or distract, but they don’t quite satisfy us.

For me, one of these (expensive)  habits used to be a $5 (now $7+) latte every morning. It wasn’t just about the coffee. That cup was supposed to bring me peace in a chaotic world, act as a source of comfort, facilitate connection, affirm my identity, and provide a moment just for me before work. 

That’s quite a lot to put on one cup of coffee- even a $5 coffee. 

And the truth? It never really delivered.

I eventually realized that the problem wasn’t the latte itself but the fact that it couldn’t meet the deeper needs I was trying to fulfill. So, I decided to try something different.

Now, I make my lattes at home. While the espresso brews, and I’m frothing the milk, I listen to a podcast that inspires or entertains me. I light a candle and sit in my coziest spot to enjoy my coffee in peace. I read something that anchors me in my identity and helps me feel grounded before the day begins.

This small change not only meets my needs in a more meaningful and holistic way but has also saves me (a lot of)  money. Making this shift was a key moment in my journey (sorry, I don’t have a better word!) toward financial stability and security. 

In creating a morning routine that feels intentional and fulfilling, I not only replaced a (very) expensive habit with a less expensive alternative, but also better served the core needs that the habit was seeking to meet. In doing this, instead of feeling deprived or restricted by the shift, I actually felt better and more whole. 

This isn’t about giving up your favorite habits. If a morning latte is your best “yes,” go for it! But if you feel unfulfilled by certain routines, I invite you to ask yourself: What am I really looking for? 

Go deep. Ask yourself, and then really listen. Don’t be afraid to think, speak or write the answer  – even if it seems a bit abstract or ethereal. Don’t be afraid to be “woo-woo” in naming your needs. Before you can honor them or meet them with tactical solutions, you will need to acknowledge them and accept them. Sit with them. Ask them what they seek. 

When we honor our needs at their core, we discover deeper fulfillment. And from there, we can build routines—and budgets—that truly support us without feeling like we’re missing out.

So, as the world spins a million miles a minute with news, deadlines and personal responsibilities that make you want to distract yourself with quick fixes and momentary comforts. I challenge you to pause, breathe and really sit with yourself. What do you need now, and how can you better honor your needs in ways that bring you joy and peace?

As always, thank you for taking the time to have coffee with me. 

Until next week, be well and take care, 

Everett

P.S. Lately, I’ve found myself sinking into social media as a distraction, but what I really seek—and need—is real connection. So, I’ve decided to step away from social media for now and focus on putting my time and energy into more substantial opportunities for connection. We’ll see how it goes!