$pent Millennial

Dear Reader,

Don’t forget to love yourself first.

Typically, on Saturday mornings, I volunteer.

I’ve enjoyed volunteering since I was young. It makes me feel better—more connected, more useful, more at peace. They say that the best way to lift your own spirits is to do something for someone else, and I’ve found that to be true. 

Lately, as we have been facing uncertainty and anxiety, with seemingly more to be unsure and concerned about each day than the last, I’ve been reminded of another saying: action is the antidote to anxiety.

There’s always so much to do. Work is busy, family life is full, and the need for community support and action through volunteerism abounds. Through this, I have been able to lose myself, busy my hands and distract my brain with constant doing. This is not new. I have always been like this. I find comfort in doing. I am a solutions- oriented person. Bring me a problem, and rather than join in on complaining or venting, my instinct and preference is to spin it, to find a solution, a next step. Where do we go from here is how my brain works when faced with challenges. 

And I consider this to, mostly,  be a strength of mine. It is usually a helpful and productive quality. But, sometimes, it is also exhausting. And by Friday of this past week, I had reached my limit. I was ready to be done. I needed a break. I needed to rest, and I needed to mope. I needed to feel and acknowledge all that is heavy right now without pushing it off or distracting in doing or solutions. And so this weekend, I chose not to do.

Instead of volunteering, I stayed home and moped. Just for one morning, I didn’t try to “feel better.” I didn’t want to distract myself with productivity or purpose. I needed to sit with the weight of things—to acknowledge the heaviness of the world, the personal and collective grief, the uncertainty we’re all navigating. Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do is give ourselves permission to feel it all, without rushing to fix or reframe.

Not everyone understands this. When I mentioned to a few people that I was taking the morning to “mope,” I got puzzled looks and questions like, “Why would you want to do that?” But I believe it’s important. Processing what we’re going through requires space to sit with our emotions—to name them, to honor them, to let them move through us instead of pushing them aside. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel, we can’t fully heal.

For me, giving myself this time and space to unplug and feel is an act of self-care and self-love.

And I imagine I’m not the only one who might need this right now.

This weekend might be a time of moping for many. It seems like there is a heavy focus and more of an excitement on Valentine’s Day this year than usual. Maybe it is because it falls on a Friday. Maybe it is a capitalist push for more sales and higher profits, or maybe people are in need of something to celebrate. Likely, it is some combination.  

But while many (myself included) enjoy the holiday and are excited for the celebrations it brings, not everyone might be up for celebrating it this year. For some, it’s a reminder of loneliness or loss. For others, it’s a day that doesn’t quite fit where they are in life right now. If that’s you, I see you. Feeling left out, grieving, or simply sitting with the weight of the world doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human.

So, this one is for anyone who is taking some time to mope this weekend. Whether you’re feeling the ache of missing someone, the sting of unfulfilled expectations, or just the heaviness of the world—know that your feelings are valid. There is no rush to move past them. And when you’re ready, the world will still be here, waiting for you.

For now, I am right here with you- moping in solidarity. 

Take care, 

Everett