$pent Millennial

Dear Reader,

What if nobody knew?

What if you were happy, extremely satisfied, or even just sufficiently content—in that way where contentment feels like peace. You know the way, right? That sense of everything being just enough, that sense of flow.

What if you were happy like that, but nobody knew?

Would it count?

I ask this question a bit satirically because, of course, it counts. Right?

But this thought did cross my mind this past week while I was stretching after a run/podcast walk—one of my favorite parts of the day, which I’m thrilled to welcome back as we enter spring.

As I stood overlooking the marsh, the morning sun beaming down on me, I almost reached for my phone to take a photo—a photo I have taken too many times before on this same morning run that is part of my routine. 

The moment was just so perfect, so picturesque, that a part of me longed to share it. And I have, many times. (Scroll through my old social media, and I’m sure you’ll find countless images of similar moments.)

But this time, when I went to take the photo, I stopped. I’m no longer on social media, so even if I didn’t already have somewhere between 300 and 3,000 versions of this exact image stored away, I had no reason to take another.

I didn’t need a photo. I was experiencing it, living it. This moment, this time was just for me. 

So, I took an extra breath, really let it in, and allowed myself to feel and sit in the joy it brought me.

Earlier in the week, I had been on a call where many were lamenting the challenges of this moment in time. These times are tough for many, in so many ways. But something we discussed on that call stuck with me: the importance of finding joy and replenishing ourselves through nature, meditation, hobbies—whatever brings us peace.

So, as I stood there, I let myself soak it in. I took the moment for me. In celebration of the idea that joy can be a form of resistance. And a reminder that joy is okay, even in difficult times—especially in difficult times.

Recently, things have felt very uncertain.  In my work and my sector – as in many other sectors- there has been a lot of uncertainty recently, uncertainty around budgets, funding, and sustainability. The pressure to do enough, do it right, and do… more has been high. 

I have always been proud of my work and have been considered—by myself and others—a high achiever. Even my partner tells me how much he admires my ability to set a goal and just make it happen. And for the most part, I appreciate this about myself. I appreciate him seeing it in me.

But there are days, weeks, and months when all the achieving is exhausting.

It’s not the meaningful goals themselves that are exhausting, but the never-ending treadmill that comes after achieving one, only to propel me to the next. The pressure to keep going, keep climbing, keep learning, keep doing more and doing it well—as if I’m not still new and learning myself. It can be exhausting. Exhausting and scary.

“What if I fail here?”

“What if this is where it all falls apart?”

“What if I’ve climbed this far, only to realize I can’t go any further?”

“What if they find out I never should have actually made it here in the first place? “ 

But as I stood in that perfect moment of contentment, listening to a HerMoney podcast episode about chasing ambition- so timely, so fitting for this moment – I was reminded of something important: I am happy. 

I am happy because I have what it takes to make myself happy. It already exists within me. 

And with that, I am enough. In doing work that matters, telling stories that connect us, and fully showing up for the things that bring me fulfillment, I am whole- and that is enough.

No matter what lies ahead in these times of uncertainty,  I will continue to do the work, tell the stories, and show up – regardless of titles, organizations, affiliations, or paychecks—because this is who I am. This is what makes me feel whole, happy, satisfied, excited, and content. And regardless of external circumstances, this is within my control. 

So, as I meditated on that question in that spot, finishing my stretch, I arrived at my answer.

What if I am happy, satisfied, excited, and content—but nobody knows?

Then it’s even better.

Because it’s just for me.

I am wishing more moments like this—for me, and for you.

Until next time, take care and be well, 

Everett