$pent Millennial

Dear Reader,

Be still. And let them.

What is up with my family and itineraries?

That is the question I asked my partner weeks ago when we got a formal Easter invite in the mail from my sister– who lives just down the road from us. The invite outlined an extensive menu and an itinerary. Scheduled out with time marks and everything.

My family does too much. I told him as he read it to me. 

My family has a habit of this. My other sister hosts Thanksgiving each year, and she sends similarly detailed schedules and menus out in the weeks leading up to the holiday. 

Is this a thing? Am I the odd one? It just seems like a lot for a small family gathering. 

“Well, we’ll be late,” I stated.
Because it’s true. We will be. (Probably even later than I’m already imagining we’ll be).

We don’t really have a “good” reason to be late. No prior commitments. No kids to dress up and get out the door. We’ll be late because I don’t really run well on schedules and itineraries—especially on Sundays.

But at some point this morning (or early afternoon), all the local members of my family will be gathered for the holiday.

It’ll be fine. It’ll be nice.

It’s just—Sundays are kind of my day. They’re for me, my partner, and our dog. We stay in bed later than usual, sipping coffee. I take a long walk with the dog, listening to a podcast and enjoying the slow pace of the morning. We then have a nice homemade breakfast and either hide out for the day or wander off for a walk or hike. Whatever it is, it’s just us– flowing through the day unstructured, unbothered, and ours– before the week and its demands spring us back into schedules and obligations.

But today is Easter Sunday. So we’ll go to the family gathering.

As I write this, I don’t know if my Magic Cookie Bar recipe is going to set right—or how it’ll taste. But honestly? It doesn’t matter. I made it to bring, sure. But mostly I made it because it was something I wanted to try.

I do hope it sets well enough to not be a total mess and that it tastes good—mostly because I want to eat a good Magic Cookie Bar. But other than that? I’m not tied to the outcome. And that feels good.

As a recovering high-achiever with perfectionist tendencies, I consider this progress. I consider this healing.

This silly little dessert I made as a fun experiment has absolutely no bearing on my value, my identity, or the role I play in my family. It’s not meant to impress. It’s quite literally just something I wanted to try. And that feels good. That feels aligned with who and how I want to be.

The beautiful thing about family is that they know me. They know who and how I am- a little messy, and a lot late. Yet, I still keep getting the invites with the schedules and menus I never stick to. 

They know I won’t RSVP,  I’ll be late, and I will probably show up with some random experiment that has nothing to do with the menu. And they’re okay with it. I’ve told them not to wait on me—for Easter, Thanksgiving, any of it.

I let them have their itineraries and scheduled time blocks. And I let me have my slowness, my space. That’s how we make it work. That’s how we love each other (and ourselves) well. That’s how we all keep managing to show up to these family gatherings. 

So, all this to say—if you, like me, have a family thing today (or any day), enjoy it.

Don’t let the expectations of others—real or perceived—rattle you. Don’t stress. Just take it as an opportunity to show up for you, as you. Embrace the experience in whatever way feels right and true for you.

Wishing you a happy and peaceful Easter or Sunday—whichever you’re celebrating today. And thank you for having coffee with me- before the crazy kicks in. 

Until next week, take care and be well, 

Everett

P.S. I’ll let you know how the Magic Cookie Bars turned out.