$pent Millennial

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Dear Reader,

I get greasy.

One time, a coworker of mine joked that she was a “shower every day” kind of person. Her reasoning? “I get greasy.”

It struck me as funny—because don’t we all. It wasn’t some quirky confession; it was just honest. Our natural state, if left alone, tends toward a little grime, a little grease. It’s not personal—it’s just how humans work. We get greasy. 

Luckily, access to regular showers help.

I find I get “greasy” in other ways as well. My mind and spirit can get a bit greasy and grimy if left unattended. That’s why I integrate tools and practices that help to refresh and ground me into my daily routine. These tools include “self-help” books and podcasts. 

Recently, one of the “self-help” “experts” I have been turning too is Mel Robbins. 

Now, full disclosure, I’m not as much of a Mel Robbins fan as a lot of people seem to be. I respect her and I respect her hustle, but I also feel like she doesn’t necessarily invent concepts so much as repackage them, and sometimes- in my humble opinion- she overstates her role in the ideas she shares.

That said, she does make a lot of helpful material approachable, understandable, and easy to apply. And there’s value in that. 

So, at the beginning of the year when all the hype about her new book, The Let Them Theory, sprung up, I put it on hold at the library. Then I forgot about it until I recently found it on the HOLD shelf with my name in the slip. I picked it up and figured, why not give it a shot?

As I read the first page, I texted my sister jokingly that maybe the book wasn’t for me after all. The advice on page one was basically a summary of conversations I’ve had with her—and others—for years. It echoed the way I already try to live my life.

She replied, “Yeah, you might be beyond self-help books at this point.” She was teasing, but there was a hint of something real there.

I told her I didn’t think I was “beyond” self-help—far from it. I just might not need this particular book in the way I once would have. But, I appreciate Mel’s voice, and the book is an easy read, so I kept it in my rotation along with my daily Bible time and meditation.

This past week I have been feeling especially greasy, and I have been relying heavily on my grounding practices- including my “friend Mel” and her Let Them Theory. 

Here are three opportunities I had to apply the Let Them Theory this past week. 

1. Laundry: This past week—for the third week in a row—my clothing came out of the wash looking worse than when it went in. My white and light-colored clothes were covered in yellow and brown stains. We’ve had ongoing issues with the laundry room since we moved into this building—people leaving wet clothes in machines for hours (sometimes days), machines that smell like mildew, rust in the drums. It’s frustrating.

As I pulled my favorite comfy sweatshirt and good work shirt from the machine, now ruined, I could feel anger rising in me. I took a deep breath.

“Hello, Angry. Breathe with me, Angry…” I said out loud, drawing on the Conscious Discipline practices we use in my early care and education work.

I paused. And then: Let them.
Let them leave their clothes for days.
Let them ruin the machines.
Let them be inconsiderate.

When I vented to my partner about it later, he said, “I hate that. Other people shouldn’t have that much power over your life.”

But that’s the thing: letting go gives me my power back. I can’t force the property management to fix the machines. I can’t make my neighbors behave differently. But I can control how much energy I spend being angry. I can shift my focus back to what I can do.

2. Work Stress: After this week, I was definitely ready for the weekend. So on Saturday morning, I walked to the café with my sister, planning to read my new library book or just enjoy some unhurried conversation. I even said out loud that I wasn’t planning to work. But—maybe you’ve been there—I brought my work phone and laptop anyway. Just in case.

Of course, as soon as I sat down, I checked my work phone. One glance at a new text message was enough to derail my whole morning. It wasn’t an emergency—it was an overreaction from someone else, responding emotionally. I knew that. But instead of setting it aside and enjoying my time, I spiraled. I spent the whole café visit venting, complaining, dragging us both down into a depressing fog about the state of the world.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted and discouraged. I wanted to crawl under a blanket with junk food and watch Black Mirror. But it was a beautiful spring day, and honestly, I was out of my junk food budget for the month.

So instead, I sat on my sunny balcony and picked up The Let Them Theory again.

The next section? “Managing Stress.”

And it clicked. It wasn’t just the sender of that text who was reacting from a stressed emotional state. I had been too.

My decision to bring my work phone to the café? Stress.
My decision to check it? Stress.
My overreaction to the message? Stress.

Mel’s words held up a mirror I needed. And once I saw it, I could release it.

Let them overreact. Let them send anxious messages on weekends.

3. Grocery Shopping: As I was leaving the grocery store, feeling fortunate to have a bit of grocery budget left to grab a few items for the end of the month, there was a jam-up at the exit. My first instinct was annoyance—why couldn’t people just move? Then I saw the real problem: a man on a scooter cart was stuck because the return carts were left scattered and blocking the way.

I helped move one out of his path, so he could get through. Then, as I looked around, I noticed how many carts were just abandoned all over the place, not put away properly. Not only had they made the path too narrow for that scooter to get through, they were lined up blocking the entire row of scooter carts needed by individuals with limited mobility. 

The frustration started bubbling up again: How lazy are people? How inconsiderate are people these days? Why doesn’t the store fix this? Where is the staff?

Pause.

Let them.
Let them leave the carts.

Let me—let me put the carts back, because I had the time and the ability to help. Let me do what I can, where I can.

And that’s really the heart of The Let Them Theory.
Let them…and let me.

Let me be part of the solution when I see a system breakdown in grocery cart returns. 

Let me pack up the work frustrations and not dwell on them all weekend. Let me rest. Let me enjoy my Saturday. Let me protect my own peace without guilt or stress.

Let me let go of trying to control shared spaces that aren’t mine to control and find a better laundry solution—one where I can actually enjoy the time instead of feeling frustrated and defeated each week. 

Maybe that means taking my laundry to a local laundromat. Maybe I can pair it with a Saturday coffee outing, or use it as time to work on blog posts, track my spending, or even create a little community budgeting group someday.

Maybe I can find a way to turn something that feels like an inconvenience into intention.

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So, there it is. I get greasy. And the daily habits—Bible time, meditation, self-help reading—are what rinse me clean again. They’re what keep me grounded when life leaves its everyday stains and smudges.

Even when we know the concepts already, we need reminders. We need mirrors.
Especially when life is noisy, stressful, and full of too many open tabs in our brains.

This week, Mel’s book handed me the mirror I needed. And I’m grateful for it.

As always, thank you for having coffee with me. I hope it can be a grounding routine in your week. I know it is in mine. 

Until next week- take care, be well … and Let Them, 

Everett