$pent Millennial

Dear Reader,

I just felt like I deserved it.

And to be clear—I find that phrase extremely problematic. For a lot of reasons.

It’s used so often to justify spending that doesn’t really serve us. To excuse impulse decisions that pull us further from our goals. And it leans on this idea that “deserving” something and being able to afford it are the same thing—which they aren’t. Plenty of people deserve a lot more than what they have access to. Plenty of people “deserve” ease, rest, or relief… and simply can’t buy it.

But still. Last night, that was the phrase running through my head as I lugged overloaded grocery bags up the stairs to our apartment—this month’s big haul, loaded with canned goods and heavy pantry staples. 

After a full week of work that ended with an oil change that came with “you’re going to need new brakes soon”.

After a weekend already full with family obligations and future planning (and more future planning). All that, plus, a fridge to clean out, laundry to do—crossing my fingers that no one left bleach residue in the machines again– and dinner to think about. 

You get the picture. You don’t need me to tell you. You’re living it, too. 

I was tired. Mentally tapped. Physically wiped. Financially stretched. I’ve been trying to be so careful with my spending all month—rearranging categories, watching every dollar, moving money from one “maybe later” to another just to make it all work.

So when I grabbed a frozen pizza and a pint of ice cream—two easy comfort foods squarely within our grocery budget for this new month. I thought, “I deserve this.”

Not in the reckless, credit-card-maxing kind of way. But in the “this is a small, intentional bit of comfort on a day that wore me down” kind of way. It isn’t going to derail our budget. I’d already bought everything else we needed to get us through the next few weeks. The pizza and ice cream were more than just dinner and dessert—they were a pause. A soft landing at the end of a long day– week. 

So yeah, for that night, I let myself feel like I deserved it.

And when we’re stretching at the end of the month—reallocating things, delaying a few extras—I’ll feel okay about that too. That’s part of it. That’s the trade-off. And that’s what I really mean when I say, “I deserve it.” 

Not “I deserve to buy this no matter the cost.” 

But *I deserve to make a choice that feels good—and take responsibility for it later with care, not shame.

Because sometimes what we deserve is grace. Even if it comes with a side of mozzarella and Brookie Dough.

Here’s to intentional indulgences and budgeted allowances. 

As always, thank you for having coffee with me. 

Until next week- take care, 

Everett