$pent Millennial

Dear Reader,

It is that time of year again.

The season when the world seems to speed up—holidays, plans, expectations—and yet something in me keeps asking to slow down. To choose alignment over achievement. To keep choosing it, even when ego or habit or comparison try to tug me back.

This year has been one long recalibration.

Stepping down from titles, from pay, from the “look at me go” metrics that used to make it easy to anchor my identity.

Stepping toward work and projects that fill me instead of draining me.

It has felt good—really good—though not without its adjustments. Less money coming in means reworking the budget, cutting back where I can and being more intentional where I can’t.

It hasn’t always been comfortable, but it has felt… right. Necessary. Like a course correction I didn’t know I’d been overdue for.

And yet— as we approach Thanksgiving, the identity questions creep in.

You know the holiday table —everyone catching up, trading stories, casually stacking their year’s achievements like Jenga blocks. Promotions, bonuses, milestones, the things that “count.”

And while I do truly believe that choosing alignment, choosing sustainability, choosing myself—even if it doesn’t come with a 401(k) match, health benefits or something shiny to brag about— is an achievement. 

I can’t deny the twinge.

That nudge that lands right under the sternum—wondering if I made the right call.

If trading stability for some half-formed dream will hold up when everyone else is swapping promotions and bonuses like holiday cards.

If I am truly authentic, confident, and self-assured enough to walk and live in my decision to trade “impressive” for intentional.

And even if I am… where will it land me a year from now?

In honesty, as much as I love to put on a brave face—to act like I have it all together, like I’m completely steady in my choice to prioritize alignment over achievement, stepping off someone else’s ladder, shredding the rubric of what “success” should look like—the ping of doubt came up pretty quickly after I made the decision to recalibrate.

Because at the same time I was stepping down and reshaping my work…my older brother was stepping up. He announced he accepted a new, fancy corporate job—marketing, big title, big jump.

And honestly, it all feels very “on-brand” for both of us.

If this were a holiday movie, we’d be hitting our character beats right on cue—him with the big, shiny promotion montage; me resisting the status quo, questioning the meaning of life over morning coffee, and trying to change the world one after-school tutoring session at a time.

Still, life isn’t actually a movie. And the reality is, shifting your life—your work, your finances, your sense of direction—comes with real trade-offs. Real moments of doubt. Because real life doesn’t promise tidy endings, and being in charge of creating them for ourselves can feel heavy. Especially this time of year.

But then there is this: I am happy now. I am happy here. And in the end, maybe that’s all there really is.

If how we spend our moments is how we spend our days, and how we spend our days is how we spend our lives… then maybe being happy here—now—is the happy “ending”. 

And wouldn’t it be a shame to miss it? 

So, in a year when many people’s identities are tied to things that suddenly feel less stable– shifting jobs and wobbling industries, maybe we can all shift a bit ourselves, letting go of the versions of ourselves that only feel safe, valued, and real when we are achieving.

If you also find yourself in a season of recalculating—financially, emotionally, professionally—here’s the grounding reminder for all of us: 

We are not defined by what we produce, earn, or perform.

We are allowed to change.

We are allowed to choose the path that makes us feel whole, even if it makes holiday small talk a little less “shiny”. 

Whatever holidays you are celebrating—or not celebrating—in the coming weeks, I hope you find pockets of rest, small joys, and permission to honor what you actually need instead of what you think you “should” be keeping up with.

Until next week—take care and live well, 

Everett