$pent Millennial

This morning marked the 20th pre-coffee meditation for my year. Saturday, January 20th. I have committed to the habit and kept at it every morning- 5 minutes of affirmations with breathwork and another 5 minutes guided meditation. Every morning while my pour-over brews my espresso, I practice imperfect meditation and messy mindfulness.

That’s 20 out of 20 (100%)! As a recovering Straight-A student, this is VERY exciting. 

However, as I remind myself daily, it isn’t about perfection or A+s… It’s about growth. As discussed in previous posts, my resolutions for the year focus on abstract, long-term growth and incremental change. My goals, resolutions, or whatever you want to call them this year are less about the concrete check marks of how many sit ups I got in this week or the number of grams of protein I ate each day. They are more focused on the big picture. What do I need to bring to my days, weeks, months this year to bring me closer to my favorite self? 

In my last post, I shared a bit about how I feel as though over the past few years I have lost parts of myself- parts that I really, really liked. Some of these parts of me have been buried under anger, resentfulness and bitterness. Others spent the past few years assembling a fortress to hide behind- guarding themselves from exposure and vulnerability. And others, I imagine, just got bored or tired of being ignored; they probably wandered off, looking for someone to nurture them. 

This year is about exploring the practices, activities and habits that bring back those parts of me that I have lost, those parts that I miss. 

Last week, I shared my pursuit of patience. This week, I wll briefly discuss my journey to increased mindfulness and presence with self through meditation. 

Ironically of my three focuses for the year (which can be found in more detail in my Resolution Check-In post from earlier this month), mindfulness and meditation are the most concrete. 

While my pursuit of patience and acts of accountability take many forms and require a bit of a road map to understand, my journey to increased mindfulness is pretty straight-forward – meditate more. Now, I do not mean to over-simplify it, meditation and mindfulness can take many forms and be done anywhere in a number of ways. Being a beginner, I mainly stick to the simple, guided meditation and affirmations with breathwork.

I have been exploring meditation and flirting with mindfulness for years. Originally, I wanted to do it perfectly– remember, that recovering straight-A student?

I wanted to sit in perfect lotus pose with perfect silence, eyes closed, maybe a butterfly landing on my nose… That didn’t happen. Eventually, I compromised. I began exploring guided meditations through Headspace trial apps and then YouTube. In this exploration, I learned that it was okay to, for lack of a better way to explain it, suck at meditation- especially at first. And trust me, I sucked. I still kind of suck. Some days I still really suck.

Over the past few years, I enjoyed doing a guided meditation on my morning runs when I stopped to stretch, or would take 5 minutes to breathe and connect using one when I had a big day or was feeling especially anxious. And when I would do these meditations, I felt better. I felt more connected- to myself, nature, the universe. Still, I struggled to commit. I would weigh the 5 minutes it would take to see if it would make me late for work or be less time for something else. It wasn’t a top priority. So this year as I decided to be intentional in my mindfulness and meditation, I set aside 10 minutes each morning, 10 minutes when I am anxiously, impatiently watiting for my espresso to brew. I assigned that time to breathwork, affirmations and meditations. And as of today, 20 out of 20! It feels good. 

Good, not perfect. As I said, I still kind of suck at it most days and really suck some days. But I am practicing, and I feel better for having done it. 

So, if you are looking to add meditation or mindfulness into your year, I don’t have much of an action plan or step-by-step guide. But here is what I will share: 

1. Start where you are. 1 minute meditations? Great! 
2. I find guided meditations very helpful. 
3. It is okay if you get distracted during the meditation- even if it is only a 1 minute meditation. Don’t give up, just make note of it and try again next time. 
4. Set it into your schedule. Pick a time when you have a minute, 5, 10 or more each day and dedicate it to meditation. 
5. Build the habit. Do it even on days you don’t feel like it. Do it even when you are distracted. Just do it, until it becomes a habit. 
6. And again, don’t expect perfection. It is okay. And, nobody knows but you. Be kind and gentle on yourself. 

If you are considering the commitment, but are not sure if it would be worth it, that’s fair. I can’t tell you that it is rigth for you. What I will share instead are some benefits I have encountered from it this year and a few of my favorite meditations that help!

1. Decreased back pain. Yup. Now, not to count any eggs before they hatch, I assume I might still encounter back troubles as I have previously. I experience back pain for multiple reasons: stress, sciatica, long hours sitting, etc. But at the beginning of the year, I was experiencing pretty inhibiting pain in my back. I didn’t want to keep popping Advil. And so, I breathed into it. I released it through meditation. I’m serious. I’ll link below the one I used in case it might be of help to anyone else. 

From 5 Minutes by Great Meditation: A Powerful Releasing 5 Minute Guided Mediation

2. Reduced anxiety- over work, home, family, etc… 

3. Increased patience- with myself, others, the universe… 
4. Help for that recovering straight-A student… 

From Five Minutes by Great Meditation: Morning Affirmations for Self Development

So, there you have it. A brief update on my journey in mindfulness and meditation. I’d love to hear how you practice meditation and mindfulness and any benefits you have experienced.