$pent Millennial

Dear Reader,

I’m a lucky girl. 

I’ve always been optimistic. 

But sometimes what gets labeled as optimism is actually security. Sometimes what looks like calm is simply having options. Sometimes peace can be purchased—not always with luxury, but with resources, support, and breathing room.

I was listening recently to an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, Money for Couples by Ramit Sethi.

The couple featured on the episode had a lot of debt, extremely high expenses, and were spending more than they brought in each month. Yet the wife kept saying she wasn’t worried. She described herself as “just an optimistic person” and said she always had been.

And then it came out.

She comes from a family with beaucoup money. She is set to inherit millions of dollars. Literal millions.

My immediate reaction: Well, yes. It is much easier to be optimistic when that kind of financial security is quietly standing behind you.

Easy to call it optimism when the floor beneath you is made of money.

And then, it was my turn.

On my way into work, my car had had enough. It started shaking. Lights flashed every shade of red and orange in symbols I had never seen before. I had to pull over to the side of the road.

I was going to be late for work.

My first thoughts were a scrambled to-do list:

Call Jesse.

Get to work.

Let my boss know I’ll be late.

But once those first steps were in motion, I felt the panic loosen its grip. My breathing slowed. The problem was still there, but I had room to face it.

Jesse was on his way to pick me up and figure out what needed to be done with the Jeep.

My boss responded with kindness, telling me to take my time and get it figured out.

Suddenly, I had space.

Space to sit there safely and wait.

Space to think clearly.

Space to feel grateful.

How lucky to have such an understanding boss.

How lucky to have someone who would come get me, get me to work, and start tackling the car problem—on his day off.

How lucky that this didn’t happen a few nights earlier while I was driving through one of the worst hail and thunderstorms I have ever experienced.

And then there was the unspoken kind of luck.

As all those urgent thoughts ran through my mind, not once did I think: How will I pay for this?

Not once did I spiral into: What if I can’t afford repairs?

I realized that while sitting in my broken-down car on the side of the road, I felt like one of the luckiest girls in the world.

And I thought about how easy it would be—for me or for someone else—to call that optimism.

But the truth is, it is easy to feel grateful and optimistic when you have resources. When solutions rise from your toolbox before the problem has fully landed.

When you have a partner who can come help.

When you have a boss who treats you like a human being.

When you have an emergency fund and a car fund ready for whatever comes next.

This experience would have felt completely different under different circumstances.

If it had happened when I was swimming in debt.

If it had happened when I was living paycheck to paycheck.

If it had happened before I had my Mr. Fix-It partner.

If it had happened with a less flexible job.

All places I have been before. 

And in those times, I likely would have felt a lot less lucky, grateful, and optimistic.

So yes, I am deeply grateful. And honestly, I do think of myself as an optimistic person. But that does not change the fact that optimism often grows more easily where resources already exist.

This week, I want to do something I do not always do. If you are in a position to give and feel called, I’d like to invite you to donate to a cause that helps create a little breathing room for others.

Because sometimes what people need most is not advice. It is space.

Space to solve the problem.

Space to catch their breath.

Space to make one good decision that opens the door for other good decisions. 

A few places I give to are The Road Home Dane County, The Playing Field, and United Way of Dane County through Women United. These organizations help individuals and families with support, stability, and emergency needs.

If those are not your causes, that is okay too. Give where your heart leads you. 

Gifts don’t have to be financial. You can share a meal, gift old children’s clothes to someone who could use them. Or simply treat a friend to coffee and listen. 

And if none of that is possible right now, no worries. 

Whatever you are facing as we enter this week, I hope you are given the gift of space to face it. And if you are able, I hope you might consider gifting a little to someone else. 

Life is hard. Here’s to doing what we can to spread the wealth and share the luck. 

Until next week—take care and be well,

Everett